Having never been pregnant, I never imagined going nine months without alcohol—until August 12, 2024, when I decided to give up alcohol for nine months and beyond.
This was different from your run-of-the-mill "I woke up with a hangover so bad, I'm swearing off alcohol forever" epiphanies. Those kinds of revelations never come with the execution that you think they will.
No, this was different, and I knew it straight away.
Had I had too much to drink the night before? Absolutely. Did I swear off alcohol for good right then and there? You'd think so, but no.
Instead, what happened next defies all logic, except maybe to a person with an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I did what every blue-blooded American with a well-worn liver would do—I poured myself a little hair of the dog.
I took one sip and instantly knew I wouldn't have another drink. For at least an hour. That first sip turned my stomach. So I set it aside with a plan to return to it later and try again. I'm nothing if not persistent.
Yeah, I was feeling pretty crappy, but I knew that once I could get that drink down, I'd start feeling better. So I busied myself with chores, and when I saw the full drink sitting on the counter a while later, I gave it another go. I took one sip and instantly knew I wouldn't have another drink.
Like ever.
That was nine months ago, to the day. After that second sip, there was no going back, and I knew it.
I read Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol by Holly Whitaker AFTER I quit drinking. I wanted to reinforce my decision to give up alcohol. This book is fabulous, and I recommend it to any sober-curious woman! My dudes are welcome to read it as well, but there is a bit of a "F the patriarchy" vibe to it.
If it helps, Holly Whitaker herself recommends Allen Carr's Stop drinking now (The Easy Way to Quit Drinking), which is gender neutral.
I know for a lot of folks, giving up alcohol is much easier said than done. I didn't write this post with the intent of telling you how I gave up booze. Because honestly, I don't know. I just did. It really was that simple. While I don't have great advice for how to quit drinking, I do have a lot to say on the why of it all.
Because sleep is essential, and alcohol makes it all but impossible to get actual good quality sleep.
🔗Link: What You Need To Know About Alcohol and Sleep, According to Experts
Because there are enough reasons to be anxious and depressed without alcohol perpetuating the cycle.
🔗Link: Anxiety and Alcohol: Does Drinking Worsen Symptoms?
🔗Link: How to Manage the Dreaded "Hangxiety" After a Night Out
Because you could be using those calories on chocolate instead. Or ice cream. Or Swedish Fish.
🔗Link: Calorie count - Alcoholic beverages
Because you deserve better.
They say comparison is the thief of joy. I agree. But so is alcohol.
As for the how, I think we all figure things out in our own way and in our own time. There is no one right way to do anything. I do know for certain, though, that one requirement for successful sobriety is grace.
Grace with yourself for the junk food and increased sugar you consume. I made a deal with myself that I wasn't going to pass any judgment for the terrible things I was consuming, as long as they weren't alcohol. Abraham Lincoln once said, "It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
Grace with yourself for the times you find yourself thinking about a drink. Don't let it frustrate you. Instead, use it to show yourself how strong you are by not giving in to the thought. Every time you don't have a drink when you want to, a coin gets deposited into your Grace account. The next time you think about a drink, that extra grace in your account will come in handy (and serve as a reminder that you can go without that drink).
Grace with yourself during the first few months when sleep can be hard to come by. If your body has learned to rely on alcohol to put itself to sleep, there will be a learning curve for it to get there on its own. But it does, I promise! Somewhere around the 90-day mark.
I have a nightly tea routine. My hot cup of tea is what I use to signal to my brain that we're winding down. "You don't need alcohol," I tell it. "Here's some Sleepytime Extra™️ Tea with additional valerian, passion flower, and holy basil tinctures—now GO TO SLEEP!"
Grace for those around you, because you may act like a monster from time to time. While it is essential that you feel supported by them during this journey, please remember that they didn't make this choice; you did.
Grace for those around you, because they don't understand why you aren't drinking. But more than that, your sobriety makes them feel some sort of way about themselves. That's not on you, but remember that a bit of grace goes a long way for everyone. And for crying out loud - please don't become judgy about their drinking, or sanctimonious about your sobriety. Remember when you weren't sober? Try—because they do.
One last thought. I kept hearing about mantras and affirmations in sober circles, and decided to try having one of my own. I chose “I am becoming the best version of myself,” which quickly morphed into “Amanda’s Version.” I made myself a friendship bracelet with these words, and have worn it every day since.
Nine months in, I no longer need this reminder for my sobriety. But these two simple words have served me well in many areas of my life. For instance, when I realized I was in a job that no longer served me, “Amanda’s Version” were the words that propelled me forward into something far better for me.
When I doubted I had the time or energy to devote to writing, “Amanda’s Version” were the words that kicked my butt into finding the time and energy. Being sober, and the self-discoveries that came with it, have poured over into every aspect of my life, in only positive ways.
Honestly, if I had known how easy it would be to quit drinking, I would have done it a long time ago. Though in an ideal world, I never would have started drinking to begin with.
If you're on your own sober journey, are sober-curious, or simply interested in learning more, I'd love to hear from you!
These photos were all taken after I quit drinking. I'm especially proud of the middle pic. Me at 4 months and 1 day sober, attending Taylor Fest in Denver on her birthday, by myself, stone cold sober.
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